Friday, June 06, 2003


Single on Sunday Morning

...One of the problems regarding singles ministries that I've observed is that the demographics of singles in the church have changed but the church's paradigm hasn't. Basically, the church usually views its singles as young people in or just out of college on the track to getting married. The fact is that people are staying single longer and many are single again at a later age. ...

Some people may take issue with this, but another problem is that singles groups often become the church's place for the special needs and ultra-needy people. Face it, the church is a hospital of sorts and welcomes people with all types of problems. Often people with greater physical, mental, or emotional challenges have a lower probability for marriage. Those people often end up in the singles group. This adds a very difficult dynamic for leadership with no training and few resources. Our church had a woman who was a paranoid-schizophrenic. Some people in the church were actually afraid of her, yet they sent her to the singles group and basically told us, "Be warm and friendly." We already had several people in our group with mental and physical challenges. It was impossible to provide teaching and socials that would meet the needs of those folks at the same time as the bank president and the airline pilot....