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DON VS. GOD

As you may know, I am an atheist, which some people think means I don't believe in theists, but you'd have to be pretty stupid not to believe in theists. No, an atheist is one who fails to lack a disbelief in God.

Now, the hardest thing about being an atheist, besides the poor health coverage, is explaining to God why you don't believe in Him. I can attest to this - I've been in some pretty tough debates, but arguing with Him was far and away the most challenging experience of my life as God is very well read. Looking back, though, it was my own fault he bested me.

Let me set the scene. I was staring out my office window one morning, enjoying a hot cup of java and contemplating the fate of New Coke, when I felt a heavy chill slip down my neck.

"Don," said a deep booming voice, not unlike that of James Earl Jones.

"James Earl Jones?" I said.

"No, Don - this is God."...