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Frank Tips for Governing California By Frank J.

Arnold is going to be governor of California, but his previous experience was acting and he has a big task ahead of him balancing the budget. So I was thinking, "Hey! He needs my advice!" So here is some advice to Arnold to be the bestest governor since Ronald Reagan and close that budget gap:

* The LA Times is obviously biased against you, so storm their headquarters with an M60 and kill them all. They probably won't like that, but they won't be alive to give you biased, negative coverage of the event since they'll be dead. NOTE: No one take this out of context and say I advised Arnold to murder a bunch of people. I'm telling him to kill journalists; leave the janitorial staff at the LA Times alone....

...* Keep a dog with you at all times. If you are really successful, you may cause the downfall of the Democrats in the future. Thus, those future Democrats may send back a robot disguised as a man to kill you. Dogs are good at identifying those.

* I know you campaigned saying you're for gun control, but come on; you're Arnold. Liberalize laws on guns and then save money by cutting the police force in a program called "Shoot Your Own D@mn Criminals"....