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The Antithesis of Having a Soulmate
Shmuley Boteach
Polygamy is wrong for a lot of reasons, but why single out polygamists and not adulterers or deadbeat parents?

...So much for the moral crime of polygamy. But what of the question: "Should polygamy be a criminal?"

I believe that we have treated Tom Green and his case with a great deal of hypocrisy. In an age in which the entire institution of marriage is under threat, where more and more men refuse to commit to the women they date, where Newsweek magazine runs a cover story about the death of the nuclear family and the rise of single mothering, then the message that the imprisonment of Tom Green sends is this: If you are a womanizer who dates and then sleeps with a different woman every night, you have done nothing wrong.

Likewise, if you father children from different single mothers and then disappear from their lives, the state can bring no charges against you. But if you were to actually marry the children's mothers, you're going to be locked up. Similarly, if you are a married man who keeps a mistress in an Upper East Side apartment, you have committed no crime. But the moment you marry that mistress, commit to her, support her, and call her your wife, then we're going to throw you in Sing-Sing.

I am not defending polygamy but rather a confused system that punishes one highly misguided man, whose greatest sin is over-commitment, and yet heralds all the other misguided men whose sin is essentially under-commitment, or fear of commitment.

Now, I don't believe that we should lock up all men who refuse to marry or incarcerate those who keep mistresses. But I do believe that such a lifestyle should be condemned at least as much, if not more, than polygamy. Thus, if the latter carries a punishment, the former should as well.

So, what should we do with good old Tom Green? First, we should convict him and suspend the sentence. Does it really help his children to become wards of the state? Are we doing this troubled family more good by locking up their principal breadwinner? No, Tom Green's 25 years are not going to help his 25 children. Rather than jailing him, he should be asked to pay a hefty fine. If he cannot afford the fine, then we should all rest easy knowing that his money is going to support his children. But he should not be punished for over-commitment while all those who are guilty of under-commitment are left free. ...